Wife, mommy and domestic genious in training!

What must Mary have thought?!?! December 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jenny O @ 5:55 pm

What must Mary have thought?!? ! I am not even married and I am going to have a baby?!?! And He will save the world?!?!

I’m thinking that there must not have been a complete reveal of God’s plan to use Jesus…well, I know there wasn’t, I have read the story a million times.  I can’t imagine what she felt.  The fear, the excitement, the total and complete trust and obedience….

And, what about Joseph? Umm…you’re going to have a baby, but we haven’t…we aren’t even married…how?!?!  And his love for her to “quietly” put her aside so to not shame her more.  And, then, his total love, trust and obedience to marry her and raise Jesus.

My whole life I have read and heard this story as a church-goer and Christian and have thought about it as the birth of Jesus, my Savior.  This year, I read it differently…as a mom.  I can honestly say I have never given much thought to Joseph and Mary in the story other than the people that God chose to deliver Jesus.  I never thought about the emotions they felt, the issues they no doubt had to work thru…the sheer inconvenience of the matter of having to travel while pregnant and give birth in a stable.

I’m humbled every day that God gave us Sarah.  We have believed since before she was born that He has a plan to use her to change the world.  One of the reasons her life verse is what it is, (Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.), is because we truly believe God is going to use her in a huge way.  We believe God has already used her in her short eight months to bring joy to people – in the last month as we have been in the hospital and rehab facility with my aunt, her easy smile and sweet spirit have brought joy and hope to people who haven’t had much to smile about.  With all that said, I know my child wasn’t sent to be the Savior.  I know she wasn’t sent to die for the world.  I don’t know what God has planned for her or how he plans to use her.

But, I sit today and think, for just a moment, how must Mary have felt?  When she held that precious baby, when he smiled at her, when he cried. What must have gone thru her mind? I pray every day that I will be the mom God wants me to be for Sarah, that Tom and I will direct her in the path He has for her.  I pray we will grow in the Lord and always be an example of His love for her.  What in the world must Mary have felt?  How do you even begin to raise the Savior of the world?!?! I mean, I know he was perfect and God’s Son, but he still needed parents.  She still loved him as any mother would love her child.  She still felt pressure to be the mom God had truly called her to be.

And, I look across at Tom and think how excited we were to find out I was pregnant…and I think, wow, how different it was for Joseph.  And what about the pressures on him to raise a baby, a boy, a man that wasn’t even “his” child!  To love Mary and trust the Lord that she had been faithful to him.  What a different emotion to be raising and loving a child that wasn’t his own, but yet, was.

I sit and think about the end of the story, about Mary watching her son dying on a cross to save the world…the pain is almost too much for me to bear to even think about it.  What must she have felt?  Surely she questioned God in that moment.  The ultimate question – if there is a God, why must bad things happen to good people…why must her son die?  As a believer, I know the end of the story, I know the “plan” for Jesus.  But as His mother, she just knew he was her son and that she loved him.  Imagine if she had turned her back on God…imagine if she had tried to take control of the situation and not trust God’s plan…imagine if she had decided it was all too much and too hard for her…imagine if you were her…

She didn’t do any of that though; she chose to trust in what seemed an impossible situation.  She chose to obey in a situation that made no sense.  Wow, how humbling…I think I should be in control, I think God should show me His plan…I bet Mary was glad she didn’t know the entire plan from the beginning…

As I read the “Christmas Story,” as we call it now, I was struck with an entire new set of emotions this morning.  I was filled with a new sense of awe and wonder, a new sense of love and humbleness.  Motherhood has changed me…changes me every day… but the best change is that I am drawing closer to a Lord who loves me, one who never ceases to amaze me and I am learning about His love for me in an entirely new way.

If you are reading this and you don’t know that Jesus loves you and you don’t know that He chose to die to save you and you want to know more…please ask me.  I’m not really using my blog as a platform for anything, but I can’t imagine knowing this love and not offering to share it.  Jesus came just for us, He lived and died, fought Satan and rose again just because he loves us and wants to spend eternity with us. When I became a Christian, my sister said to me “Jesus died for Jenny.”  Little did that sweet little 8 year old know those words would carry me through many difficult times, but it was the words of a child that drew me to the Lord – Jesus died for Jenny and He died for you too!

Imagine how Mary and Joseph feel now, knowing that their son came to save the world!


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